Sam Rockwell is worth seeing in anything, no matter how dire the circumstances in which the acting dynamo might find himself trapped. But Blue Iguana makes the freshly minted Oscar winner (for his totally worthy performance in Three Billboards) work way too hard to cut through the films blatant stupidity and buffet of clichs. Blue Iguana desperately seeks to be one of those artfully disreputable crime thrillers with a B-movie kick thats hard to resist (think: Jonathan Demmes Something Wild and George Armitages Miami Blues). I think not. Hadi Hajaig, who wrote, directed, produced and edited this hodgepodge, doesnt remotely have what it takes to it pull off that kind of feat.
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Rockwell plays Eddie, a military-trained ex-con working in a Brooklyn diner with his fellow parolee Paul (Ben Schwartz). While Eddie buries his nose in comic books, the two exchange strained banter about life, their time in the slammer and Pauls misguided ambitions to be a filmmaker. Enter Katherine Rookwood, a Brit lawyer played by the captivating Phoebe Fox, who also deserves better than the crumbs Hajaig throws her in place of a script.
The gist: Katherine has a job for them in England, something about a mysterious package she doesnt reveal much about. And suddenly these American fish-out-of-water find themselves in a fine mess involving Londons Natural History Museum, a diamond the titular Blue Iguana stolen from a princess (Frances Barber), a mobster (Peter Polycarpou) and his mulleted, mother-obsessed stooge (Peter Ferdinando). Will Eddie and Paul get that gem back to the princess? Its a good bet you wont give a damn if they do. Every time the script loses it way, which is does constantly, Hajaig lets fly with the ultraviolence. But all the blood-gushing and manic running around cant disguise the fact that Blue Iguana has no there there. You can feel it wishing it were better, but wishing wont make it so.
Rockwell does what he can, trying on an absurd Cockney accent, warbling Billy Ray Cyrus Achy Breaky Heart and working up a flirtation with Fox that is crushingly undeveloped. But Hajaig doesnt trust his actors, thinking it better to cover the senseless action with gratuitous sadism, frenetic editing and a relentless soundtrack of pop hits from the 1970s and 1980s. Rockwell admirers can take comfort from the promising news that hes signed on for a TV series in which hell play Bob Fosse. Blue Iguanaremains a package that should never have been delivered.
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